I've finally done it! I can feel it...this is the year! Mother of the Year award! Banners! Confetti! I'm clearing a space on the mantle for the trophy!

I already look back at old posts to laugh about some of our finer moments around here, and I just knew this one had to make the cut.

Things have just been a little "off" all afternoon. The kids got off the bus at the neighbors without asking first, then they helped themselves to her snacks without asking, then Sydney got dramatic about something or other or nothing or whathaveyou. While they are super cute, they can get super on my last super nerve. It was definitely one of those nights where 8:00 wasn't gonna cut it, so I was shooting for more like, oh, say 6:15?

So here it was getting toward 9:00, and I had given my UMPTEENTH MILLIONTH reminder about brushing teeth and jammies and peeing and and and. And then Colin wanted a drink. And not just any drink. Apple juice. But we don't have apple juice. I have milk, chocolate milk, orange juice, and he was certainly welcome to help himself to the Captain Morgan. Nope. Juice. Then, of course, I realized that he actually HAD finally gotten to his teeth, so any of the above choices were not going to work.

So, water. Water it is. With my best heavy *sigh*, I slammed open the drawer with the plastic cups, got one out, poured him some water, and slammed the cup on the counter.

"DRINK IT"!

Pause. Looking at the cup.

"Mom, really? Plain? Plain? Plain water? That's it?"

That's when I leaned down and SPIT IN IT.

"There, now it's not plain anymore. Now it's got SPIT in it".

You shoulda seen his face. Then you shoulda seen Sydney's face. Then you shoulda heard the silence. Then you shoulda been there when we all HIT THE FLOOR laughing.

Gee, I really hope they spell my name right on my trophy. Or does it just say "#1 Mom"?

Look what I did for Eric. With neither his knowledge nor his consent.

And if you know Eric, I mean REALLY know Eric, you just died laughing. RIP.

Well, my goal was to not post for 3 months. I came close. Kidding. It's just been that kind of winter. Maybe I'll write more about that later.

So, I'm back--and here's one from yesterday.

I was in my bathroom TRYING to get ready in the morning. As is far too often the case, Sydney was in there as well. Under foot. Up on the counter. Down on the edge of the tub. In and out of the shower. On the toilet. And she was talking. Talking and talking. And talking about talking. "When can I wear makeup?". "Why don't we have curly hair?". "Do you put deodorant on EVERY day?". "Did you know Steven Tyler has the same birthday as me?". "When can I wear a bra?". And so on and so forth. She has no mute button, no sense of personal space, and no volume control.

The following is the exchange that took place that made me laugh because it is one that I have had with EVERY SINGLE PERSON I've ever encountered. And Sydney will too, as she is...me.

Me: Sydney. You really need to disappear.

Sydney: But I love you. I'll just sit over here.

Me: Fine. Back. Over there.

Sydney: This far enough?

Me: Yes. That should work. Now SHUSH. Really. Be quiet.

Sydney: I can't.

Me: You can. Quiet.

Sydney: No, I really can't. The best I can do is to be quiet-ER. That's it.

Occasionally quiet-ER, but never quiet. We're a pair.

Colin went to the orthodontist today and got 2 more brackets, some crazy wiring, and another weird elastic for his jacked-up teeth. Tonight at bedtime he prayed that all of today's work would result in slightly less jacked-up teeth. And soon.

And he ended the prayer with "Thank you in advance. Sincerely, Colin Farris".

Your move, Jesus.