Sydney is a bit of a...shall we say...story stretcher. She doesn't often outright lie, but she often outright "embellishes". Therefore, at the dinner table many of her stories are met with raised eyebrows, and she is forced to defend them.

Tonight at the dinner table.

Sydney: Guys, wanna hear the saddest thing?

Us: What's that, Syd?

Sydney: Ya know Ben in my class? Guess what? He passed away.

Me: Really, Syd? Oh no. That's awful. Here's the thing, though. I'm pretty sure that Mrs. Darois would have sent me a note or something if one of your friends had passed away?

Sydney: I'm not lying! He did! He did pass away.

Colin: I don't think that's true, Sydney.

Me: Sydney, I can email your teacher, but I think you have that wrong.

Now in earnest, Sydney: You guys, he DID! He passed away to Littleton. I'm NOT LYING.

Unable to control my laughter, Me: Sydney. Do you know what "passed away" means?

Now offended that we are laughing at her: Yeah, of course I do. It means you moved.

Forehead on the table, dying laughing, Me: Sydney, passed away means someone DIED. He did not DIE, he MOVED.

Long pause.

All of us rolling in laughter. Sydney still pausing.

Suddenly, she speaks. Sydney: Well then CRAP.

US: What?

Sydney: We wrote notes to him to say we were sorry, and I think I might have written sorry you passed away. CRAP.

And we all just may never stop laughing.

That girl. I wouldn't want to imagine a day without her.

We are decorating for Christmas today! And by "!", I mean...the kids are in my way today!

I just overheard Sydney say to Colin, "hold on, let me get scissors to cut you some breathing holes". I probably took longer than I should have to respond because an unconscious child is a child who is not underfoot. Amen? Anyway, when I finally did go out to the living room, they'd removed the tree from it's giant box and were using it as a coffin. Play on.

This morning we've had broken things, tangled things, and not-put-up-how-Mommy-would-like things. They've been under my feet, at my elbow, and up my behind. There's been yelling and there has been whining.

But you know what? There has also been dancing, singing along to favorite CDs, laughing, and a constant exclamation of "remember THIS?" as we open each box that has been packed away for the past 300+ days. (I'm guessing Colin could have that exact number if needed.)

I have a lump in my throat as I consider that another year has just passed. This year as we deck the halls around here, they are on my nerves. Next year, they'll probably be on my nerves again. Then there will be a handful of years where they'll most likely be--dare I say--helpful. Then they'll ask to skip it to go to the mall with their friends.

Then they'll be gone.

So today? I'll take it.

I am far too immature to use the "real" names for anatomy with the kids. In our house, everyone has a "dingle"...male, female, she-male, what have you. We have a book that shows them all about babies, but the kids still believe they enter the world through the bellybutton. Whatever. Don't judge.

HOWEVER, when it comes to school and homework...I love to get down & dirty with details. I love to take the subjects & projects that they have brought home & really dig deeper to explore each topic with them. I would probably be a great homeschool mom. Except that I don't have the patience or inclination to have them home with me all year long. And I really like wine with lunch.

Anyway.

Sydney's class is discovering Native Americans during November. We've spent some time looking on the computer to really get a handle on what life was like back in "those days". I mean the 1600s and 1700s. I realize that there are still Native Americans today. Calm down.

I don't really censor what we see when it comes to academics. Syd's seen the occasional picture of a scalping, the gutting of a deer in front of the old wigwam, etc. It wasn't until tonight when she was doing a drawing for a school project, though, that I realized I should maybe have left out the parts where many of them weren't wearing shirts.

Yes, it's been a month. I am going to update this thing soon.

Really. I am.

Until then...



Happy Holler-weenies!!
How cute are they?

Was inviting Stephen Colbert to speak before a House panel on migrant farming a mistake? Probably. Does it make a mockery of the whole system? Yeah, I guess it does on some level.

But, really? He's hilarious. Here's my fave fave favorite quote---although it was hard to choose.

"This is America.I don't want a tomato picked by a Mexican. I want it picked by an American, then sliced by a Guatemalan and served by a Venezuelan in a spa where a Chilean gives me a Brazilian."

So, let me get this straight.

In no way should I "interfere" with a buoy, and I should NEVER molest a lobster trap. Okay. But it would probably be okay to molest the actual lobster? Or, wait...can I molest a lobster fisherman?

What about the TRAPPING of the lobster fisherman? I could do that, right?

Mmm...decisions, decisions...

Look! WE MADE BUTTERFLIES!! Oh yes, we did.



All FIVE cocoons made it, and we now have 1-2-3-4-5 butterflies flying around in there! This may not seem like a big deal, but this is not even sorta the kind of thing I usually have success with. They are so cute, and they love their oranges & sugar water. We'll be letting them go next week, but for now it's so cool to watch them chill out in there.

But here's the thing.

This.




Yeah, ummmm...that. No one--NO ONE--told me that anything other than a beautiful butterfly was going to come out of those cocoons. No one mentioned the ewwwww. I guess I just thought that they just kinda broke out, unfurled, and took off? Dude. Google tells me it's meconium, but Google lies.

That there? That's a bloody mess. You had to know I'd share it, right?! The kids' "awww"'s were quickly replaced with "ewwww"'s when they saw it all. Sydney was very offended by the whole thing, as was I---considering that I had a mouth full of cereal when I first saw it.

We are gonna put this down as a one time experience, because that nastiness is never going to get cleaned enough for us to keep that tent. It's smeared down the sides, man!

My supermom status is safe...after all, I did prove to the kids that we could turn caterpillars into butterflies. All set. Cute, yeah?!

Butterflies! from Jennifer Farris on Vimeo.

My favorite things about Colin, #164:

When he answers the phone at home and I hear the person who called say, "What are you doing, Colin?". He will---without fail---answer, "umm, answering the phone?".

My favorite things about Sydney, #132:

When she brings her American Girl Doll in the car, she ALWAYS makes Felicity's arms & legs do The Robot along with the song on the radio. It's hilarious every time.

Well, here goes! This is our butterfly habitat!



We started with seven caterpillars (I'm so bummed that both of the kids are to old to have called them caller-pitters, I'm not gonna lie). We then watched them eat, crap, spin their silk, crawl up & cocoon themselves. The pooping was a highlight, of course. They really did form the coolest cocoons--they're kinda iridescent. Only five of them made it as far as the habitat. We've got 4 that attached like they were told to the little round of cotton. And then we had one like Sydney. That one said, "actually, I'll lay right here & keep you guessing, and I may or may not feel like doing any more work at all". He's currently on the floor on a paper towel.



Best case scenario? We get to see 5 beautiful painted butterflies emerge from their cocoons, sip our sweet nectar water, and then be released from our loving hands into the bright blue sky. Worst case scenario? We have 5 shriveled cocoon turds that become nothing, 2 disappointed kids, and are now owners of a useless butterfly habitat tent.

Stay tuned!!

We went to Boston yesterday. Ya know how I'm always SO GOOD about bringing a camera, and being totally prepared to report on all that happens when I'm out with the kids? Well, yesterday--for the first time in--EVER--I didn't bring my camera.

First, we met Nancy Kerrigan. This may not sound like a big deal, but I am an Olympics JUNKIE...so yay! She was standing with us in line at the candy counter, and I just couldn't resist!



No, I didn't say something like "I'm a huge fan"--THAT would've been embarrassing! I said something MUCH more subtle. Ready? I said "I don't have a camera, so can I just stare at you for a minute?"! Subtlety has always been my strong suit. She was gracious, we had some laughs, and wow. Those nostrils. They're just as big in person as they are on TV.



Just as I was recovering from having touched and talked to NANCY! KERRIGAN!, we came upon a group of street dancers. These guys.



We watched them for a little bit--they were awesome. Riiiight up until the part where they pulled Colin out of the audience to come up with them! Poor kid--he was totally game, but more than slightly confused! It ended up being hysterical...despite Colin's clear inability to break dance, maintain any sort of rhythm, or, well...anything along those lines. Then as their grand finale, they lined up 4 of the guys & Colin, then another guy ran and FLIPPED over all of them. I found a video of what they did with Colin online. Really cool.



So--learned a lesson. Bring a CAMERA!!! At all times!!!

Good day. One more week, and then it's back to school. Time flies.

Why have I been too busy to keep up with the blog this summer?

Well, I've been very busy sucking ALL OF THE MELANIN out of Eric's skin!!

Wow. He's white.

HIKING! WE LOVE HIKING! Well, we love getting to the top of mountains, and we like seeing cliffs and waterfalls and things along the way. Sometimes the actual HIKING isn't much fun at all.

Last Thursday, we did Mt. Kearsarge. It's a fun one because there is a cell tower on the summit to check out. There is also a fire tower building/lookout deal. We were able to go up to the lookout, and the view was crazy amazing. The ranger who was working that day also gave Colin a brochure listing ALL of the currently-in-use fire towers in New Hampshire. Oh, joy. Thanks alot, sir...I can hardly wait for him to get obsessed and for us to then have to visit each and every one. Yippee.

The hike was pretty uneventful, except for this. Yeah, that part was awesome. And I took this picture in the car on the way HOME. We were hiking earlier...ya know...during the HEAT of the day!



Here's the only other thing that was really noteworthy on that trip. Apparently, Sydney has been working on a new pose. Ha--didn't notice this one until I looked back at the pictures. She's somethin' else.





Okay, now. Yesterday's hike? What a GREAT time we had! We went with my best-friend-since-like-forever-ago Sarah and her kiddos.




Here's kinda what the whole drive up looked like.



Sydney also made everyone SHHHH! when we were hiking, because she could swear she heard the ice cream truck. Is that an early sign of dementia onset due to dehydration?

We hiked up to Arethusa Falls. SO COOL. The tallest waterfall around, and really a sight to see. So cool. See that little tiny dude at the base of the falls...green shirt? Yeah...that should give you the idea. Very cool.



We were able to chill out there for over an hour, eat some lunch, and let the kids play. There was also the occasional "GUYS! STEP BACK FROM THE EDGE, SERIOUSLY!" from the Moms.






After the falls, we tackled the hike over to Frankenstein Cliff. It wasn't a bad hike, but the cliff was only sorta-fun because there really was a higher-than-acceptable risk of death at the edge. I don't know why, but I didn't expect it to be so actually, ummmm, cliff-ish? So, we made the kids stay way away from the edge, had a quick snack, then headed down.



The hike back down? Yeah, really? It was surprisingly steep & kinda scary. The kids did great, though. I think the "biting it/eating dirt" count was Colin 1, Sydney 2, Nate 5, and Adam 2. It was a little unnerving because for much of the descent, you kinda needed to lean IN to the mountain, because the choice on your other side was a drop-off.

Here's the whole cliff part of the deal in the background from the parking lot.



And THIS??? This is my chili-cheese dog that I wolfed down when we got to the bottom. I mentioned to the lady at the lodge that it was the BEST chili-cheese dog I'd EVER had. She laughed & said that she heard that alot from people who'd just hiked for 6 hours. Ya know, that her little store also had the best water, the best Clif bars, the best ice cream, etc. Funny--it is amazing how much better food tastes when you're pretty sure you've earned it!!



A good day. A fun day. Good friends, good times.
Headed to Strawberry Banke Museum later today. Let the good times roll.

GEEEEESH!! Okay, okay everyone! I get it. I just got my 413th text telling me to UPDATE! MY! BLOG! ALREADY! (Yeah, Susie...this one's for you!)

Honestly, I don't know what's been keeping me so busy. Could be the 14 businesses Eric & I run together? The two kids, various pets, volunteering, friends, appointments? Maybe all of that book reading, napping, and bonbon eating??

Okay...quick update. Pay attention. It's gonna come at you fast...

We got turtles. A bunch of turtles. Seriously. From the last week in May through the first couple of weeks in June, it's like we live on Turtle Street. They hatch all over the place, and we always find 6 or 7 or 34 turtles each year. Sometimes we keep one...until it "needs to go back to it's Mom" (read--is on it's last leg), and then we put it back in the pond & hope for the best. This year we kept one for a bit, gave 3 away, kept 2 out of Pooch's mouth, and returned the rest right to the safety of the pond.



We went to a festival and the kids turned into dogs. Or something resembling dogs. The face painter guy actually had an OPEN CAN OF BUD LIGHT on the table with his paints. Rochester, NH. Really.



I was recognized along with my friend Andrea as being an "outstanding volunteer" at Colin & Sydney's school this year. I missed the ceremony at which they called me to the front to receive these beautiful flowers by about 7 minutes. Whoops. Note that it wasn't an award for "prompt volunteer" of the year.



There's been swimming. Oh, yeah, LOTS of swimming.



As per summer tradition, there have also been neighbor kids running around the yard with the sprinklers. Playing the ever popular and always hilarious fill-my-shorts-with-water-and-make-it-look-like-I'm-peeing game. A classic.

sprinkler fun from Jennifer Farris on Vimeo.

We have also started our infamous "summer spreadsheet". The morning after school gets out, we make a ridiculously huge breakfast, get out our calendar, and PACK our summer full of activities. Museums, libraries, Boston, day trips, hikes, week-long trips, camping, pools, friends, more hikes, beach, more museums, and some more hikes.

Yesterday we went to the Robert Frost farm in Derry, NH. Honestly, I've lived my entire life within about a half hour of the place, but had never been. Colin got SUPER into poetry this year (thanks, Mrs. Thompson!) and fell in love with Robert Frost. Dude, seriously. What a wicked nerd.

When we got there, he had like a Frost contest with the tour guide. They were exchanging facts about Frost as well as firing off lines from poems. The guy was--needless to say--impressed. Colin finally got him when he said, "ya know what? Robert Frost's wife's name was ELINOR...but guess what??? It wasn't spelled like ELEANOR ROOSEVELT. Beat that!". I died.

Truth be told, other than watching Colin barely able to contain his enthusiasm and Sydney barely holding in her yawns, it was really very interesting. In fact, Colin's very favorite poem-- Stopping By Woods On a Snowy Evening--was written during December (the line "darkest evening of the year") and apparently Frost was struggling with realizing that he had a family at home whom he loved, but was unable to provide them with Christmas presents that year. Ouch. Here are some pictures from the farmhouse.

This would be Colin DISPROPORTIONATELY happy about sitting on the ACTUAL CRAPPER that Robert Frost sat on. (Thanks, Sarah--you totally get me).



And this would be Colin ABSURDLY excited about standing at the ACTUAL STOVE used by Robert & Elinor Frost.



And this would be Colin standing in Robert Frost's ACTUAL pantry, surrounded by all of the various what-nots one would use in their kitchen in oh, say, 1906? Side note--doesn't it look like Colin's got two prosthetic legs in this picture? Geez, that kid is skinny. Yes, there's something wrong with me. I'm just sayin'.



Colin's finest hour.



We went on our first hike of the summer today, too. I'll post all of that tomorrow. Because really? I'm tired. Night!

Sydney was an integral part of picking out which things were going to be in our new herb garden this year. We were out checking on all of our plants a minute ago because we had a frost last night...not looking good for the basil.

One of her favorite things to do is rub the leaves between her fingers, then smell to see if she can name the herb. Mint is a favorite, and I just found out WHY she is so very interested in that particular plant:

"Mommy? Is this mint plant going to be healthy this year? Because I can't WAIT to eat the mints off of it!".

Silly girl. Mints don't grow on plants!

No, no...that's the plant that will grow Mommy's MOJITOS...

To my little man-child. Love, Mom

Dear Colin,

You turned 9 yesterday. I'm not sure how that happened, since you are--to me--still this guy.



You are still very much a fan of Oreos,



and your bum? I still want to bite it. I can't anymore. Well, I guess I could, but I don't. And that makes me sad. You're welcome, by the way.



So, anyway. You turned nine. And you said you felt taller. You ARE taller. Overnight, it seems. You have braces. And secrets with your friends. You look to me like your dad, but I feel a rush of satisfaction when people tell me, "oh, he's a looker like his Mama". For two reasons, of course. I am thrilled that you have my bluest eyes, and I am always stoked to hear I maybe still have it.

I realized that the last two posts were about your sister, so you were due.

Ahhhh...your sister. You, my friend, have patience with that girl that is commendable. You two are tight--remarkably so--and I pray that it lasts. You often play the "who's your favorite" thing with me, and I am always so relieved to be able to say that you both are. My favorite son, and my favorite daughter. It's a relief, because you-know-who would LOSE that particular little game at least twice a week.

But back to you. YOU? That stunt you pulled last week?

I flew to Kentucky to visit Uncle Scott, and it was not 4 hours after I left that I was in Chicago on my layover when my cell rang. You had SWALLOWED a Chuck E. Cheese token--on a dare from your sister, I hear?-- and were headed to the emergency room. I spoke with the ER folks, gave them insurance information & consent, and boarded my plane. I found out that you were the one who gave Grandpa Ben (babysitter's luck, right?!) turn-by-turn directions to Exeter Hospital---nicely done.

When I landed in Louisville, I turned on my phone to find out that Daddy & Grandma were in the car rushing to BOSTON to go meet you & Grandpa at Children's Hospital. It ended up that you had surgery--you monkey--and had to go under anesthesia and everything.

Wanna hear something funny? When the nurses were doing your pre-surgery history, they asked Daddy & Grandma if you had any allergies. They looked at each other, shook their heads, "umm...nope?". You spoke out from under your little blanket on the gurney..."penicillin". Whoops. You were right! Then, the nurses asked if you'd had any surgeries in the past. Daddy & Grandma exchange a look again..."ummm...nope?". One more time, as you are going under you said, "yeah. 2 surgeries. On my eyes.". I'm pretty sure the nurse decided maybe it was better just to ignore the "grown ups" in the room, and do your medical history with you, as you were clearly the one in charge!

I am so proud of you for handling things so well that night, Colin. People asked me if I had considered turning around at the airport to fly home to be with you. My HEART wanted to, of course. The thought of you with those big blue eyes full of nervous tears? Oh, ouch. But my head? My head knew that you, my friend, are a big boy. Beyond your years in many ways. Clearly able to handle things better than the adults involved, no? Those doctors did a number on you, for sure. You had a gash under your nose and they managed to knock one of your braces off your front teeth when they removed your tube. The gentle touch was a nice bonus---jerks.

Here are some things from your time at Children's. Why do you have these things you ask? A sock, your bracelets, discharge paperwork, the sticky round deals from the heart monitors, even some tube-looking thing that I am gonna guess you weren't supposed to steal? Well, you have them as souvenirs because Grandma grabbed them for me. You wanna know why? Because Mommy wasn't there, and Grandma looks at me through the same lens that I use to look at you. The one that makes our hearts feel all squeezey-tight when we don't know what else to do for our kids.




I'm grateful I have these things, Colin. I held them in my hands, closed my eyes, and said a prayer of gratitude that God allowed you--even though you were a MORON to take a dare from your sister--to avoid any injuries that could have been more serious.

You've started to spread your wings a bit. It was just this week that I said to your dad, all exasperated-like, "Who IS that kid?"!! You try as hard as you can to be naughty, but it's funny. I only have to say, "Colin, you're better than that.". And you always smile, look at the floor and say, "I know.". Even when you try to decide to assert your little independence, it is always a matter of MOMENTS before you are back in my arms begging forgiveness and giving me that squinty smile that your Dad has always remarked is something I do, too.

You've developed an actual SKILL LEVEL in basketball, too! You decided, clearly on purpose, that you were going to learn to play about 2 months ago. Up went the hoop, out came the ball, and you spent HOURS in the driveway just practicing. Shooting over and over and over. Dribbling, blowing it, chasing the ball down the hill, getting it back, dribbling it again, losing it again...over and over. Your patience is admirable. It paid off here, too. Playing basketball with Noah & Caleb is now singularly your FAVORITE activity.

So, in that vein, I took you to your first Celtics game on Tuesday. We got some serious bang for our buck (don't tell Daddy just how many bucks--he can't handle it--), Colin. It was not only the Playoffs, but they sealed the deal and advanced to the next round that night! We had great seats, and you were HYSTERICAL. It was a special night, Colin, and has moved a couple of other things down the list and now has the top honor of my FAVORITE time with you...ever.



You took it all in, got a handle on the situation, then LET LOOSE. I've never heard you scream so loud, seen you on your feet with your fists pumping like that, been quite that embarrassed by your dancing, WOW. You lived every moment of that night to the fullest.



Here's a picture of your two favorite players, Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett.



And here, because this is my blog, and I can...is a picture of MY favorite player, Ray Allen. He's a cutie. Oh, and a decent basketball player.



I wanna wrap this up by telling you one more thing. I got you a jersey to wear to the game that night. I thought long and hard about it, and decided on Kevin Garnett's #5. I was so excited to give it to you, and handed you the package the morning of the game. You opened it, looked disappointed, and then sulked around for a half an hour. I was hurt, upset, and surprised by your reaction. It was one of those, "really? Who is this kid?" moments. You had retreated to your room to be all not happy, and I got on the computer to check my email. I bounced over to your email to check up on your activity there, and found an email exchange between you and your friend Noah. It was time stamped about an hour before you had opened your Garnett jersey from me. It was an email from you to Noah telling him how much you hope hope hoped you were going to get a Paul Pierce jersey at the Celtics game. You couldn't wait. He was your favorite player, and on and on and on.

My heart sank. I had done it. The one thing that I swore I'd NEVER do to my kids...I'd blown a gift. I apparently knew nothing about anything, and had broken your heart by giving you the wrong jersey.

But you know what Colin? You rallied. You had a talk with your Dad about gratitude and some other stuff, and you rallied. Without being told, you found me in the living room, crawled into my lap, buried your head in my shoulder, and apologized. That was enough, Colin.

But you know what else? You know what makes you YOU? You didn't just swallow your disappointment. You spent the entire night showing me how great Kevin Garnett is, and how RIGHT I got the call when I bought that jersey. You pointed out that it was HIS face on the program we bought, that there were more #5 jerseys in the arena than Pierce's #34, and that he couldn't be TOUCHED in free throws that night. You looked at me in the parking lot as we started our trip home and said, "Mom? Thanks for tonight. I didn't even KNOW it could be that great! And Mom? I'm never taking off this jersey.".

And you haven't, as a matter of fact. I am going to have to sneak it into the laundry while we are at church tomorrow.





I love you, Colin. Happy Birthday.
Love, Mom

Sydney loves to "pretend talk" to her "pretend friends" on my cell phone like ALL DAY LONG. If ever I can't find my phone, I check Syd's purse. Or jacket. Or turn her upside down & shake out her pockets.

I overheard her all-too-familiar chatter last night while she was in the tub. I was NOT looking forward to finding out that the little monster had taken MY CELL PHONE into the bathtub with her.

Opened the door and saw THIS.




"Mom,look! I made a hands-free phone! And when I'm done, I just hang up & brush my teeth!".

And this is, I'm sure, just how Bluetooth started...

Sydney has a new thing where she gets nervous if she doesn't know EXACTLY where I am in the house at EVERY moment. It is getting very very very old. "I'm in the bathroom, Sydney!". "I'm in my closet, Syd!". "I'm on the other side of the wall, Sydney!". And so forth. ALL DAY LONG.

So today, in a moment of frustration and bad, immature Mommy-ness...I yelled back at her..."GROW UP, WOULDYA?"!!!!!

And she came to me with these sad eyes and said, "But Mom, when I turned six and lost two teeth, you told me to STOP growing up".

Ouch.

"HOPPY" EASTER!!

Today we got a pet chipmunk!!

For about a half an hour. Then, he died.

We've had CRAZY rain & flooding around here, and apparently this weather is no good for chipmunks. We found this little dude in the yard, and even though he was still breathing--he was very weak.



Eric's grandfather is a vet, and he said that there was a slim chance that warming him up would bring him around to his "chipper" (haha--pun intended) self. So we brought him in, Sydney rubbed him dry & said really nice things to him in his little ear...

but...well...but then nothing else, and he died. And we buried him out under a tree.





The end!

Never a dull moment around here.