Sydney's STILL out of school because of the sprinkler thing last week. She's SO BORED. She has been playing with her Barbie & her Polly Pockets all morning. Just wanted to share this so you could see why I don't ever turn on the stereo during the day. There. Is. Constant. Noise.

NO WAY

WAY.

Eric "self-effacing-humor-guy" Farris wearing 3-D glasses and he allowed a photo to be taken.

I think I need to go lie down.

Cabin fever

It snowed again yesterday. Like 8 inches of fresh snow here. SUCKED. I spent this week mostly in and out of a Sudafed and Nyquil (often in combination) induced coma, and Sydney was out of school all week due to a "sprinkler malfunction" in her classroom. So this morning, I had HAD IT. I said, "kids-- go potty, get on some pants, and we're outta here". Snow, head colds, frigid temps...thinking we headed somewhere warm to work it out? Nope. Drove to Vermont. It's darn near tropical up there...!

Grabbed our buddies Shell & baby Clay and went to Quechee Gorge. Got stuck in a snowbank (thanks Shell!) , let both of my kids pee outside (pee-sicles?) at the Gorge lookout, bought some good old Vermont cheese, and let the kids choose some candy from the MILE long penny candy table.

It was a good day. A really good day.

Happy Birthday to you!

It's official! Sydney has now been with us for FOUR years! Most people go on about how time flies. Well, we're (and YOU'RE) not most people. Syd, I owe you some poignant words here on the day of the celebration of your birth. Well, you'll have to give me a break on that one. I have a horrible, achy, feverish head cold...and I'm not feeling particularly clever.

So, know that your Daddy and I are so very proud of you. You have made such progress during the last couple of months. We have been having a behavior "boot camp" of sorts--after identifying the emergence of some rather lousy character traits. Three came in like a big, old roaring lion, and it seems to be going out like a lamb. A lamb with a big mass of turd stuck in it's wool, but a lamb nonetheless. You've been kind and are really getting the whole manners thing. Where you used to be shy & snooty when people would talk to you in public, you are really learning to engage and be kind.

Today, you decided to wear a CROWN all day. A big, pink bejeweled number to celebrate your birthday. In addition to the crown, you had a large pink "BIRTHDAY GIRL" badge affixed to your shirt. While you love adornment, you don't always react well to the attention those trappings bring in public. At the mall, everyone kept getting right down in your face to comment with "happy birthday, sweetie" and "how old are you" and "aren't you so pretty" and such. I was so proud of the way you politely answered and said thank you and smiled. After an hour or so of this, you'd had it. And after one grandma-type made WAY too big a deal out of the whole thing, you pulled me down to your level, got the old nasty Sydney face back on and said, "mommy, why does everyone keep talking to me about my birthday?".

"Ummmm...the crown & the badge, sweet pea?" I said. You reached up to feel your head, and on came the lightbulb. A sheepish grin and you mumbled, "oops...I'm a dork".

You are not a dork. You are oblivious like your mommy. And smart. And sweet. And funny. Happy Birthday, baby girl.

Sleep well. Seriously. I'm taking some Nyquil and going to bed. If I see your face before 7 tomorrow morning, I'll hurt you.

Kisses.

Love, Mommy

Hey, God--you there??

Sydney was sitting on the bottom step being punished when Colin walks up to her and says "suckerrrrrrrr" in a hysterically snide voice. Well--needless to say, chaos ensued in the now-everyone's-in-trouble department. When the dust settled, I asked them where they'd heard the word sucker. (YesI did give Colin total props in my head for using it correctly & in context!!) Apparently, it came from a movie that I had DVR'd for them to watch. So, we corporately made the decision to delete it from our menu, as this was clearly something that we wouldn't be proud to sit on the couch & watch with Jesus.

Colin's fascination was with the whole TV remote part of it all & the mechanics of how exactly one deletes a show from the DVR menu. Sydney was looking all forlorn and sad that her precious movie was going to be deleted. When all of a sudden....Syd throws her hands up--palms out--looks to the Heavens and exclaims...."WAIT!!!! WE GOTTA MAKE SURE GOD IS WATCHING!!!!!"

It's just proof that Sydney does NOTHING without a reward of some sort.

whoops

So, the thing about Fifths Disease is that you don't actually know when you were ever contagious. Which explains me not realizing that I should have kept Syd & Colin away from each other like THREE FREAKING WEEKS AGO. She's got it now, too.

It's kinda cool to see a virus go right by the book, though. (or is that just me?) First comes super-pink "slapped" cheek look, then trunk rash, then extremities rash, then it's over. Bring it.

the latest...

I waited 3 days to give you an update on Colin's bruise--ya know, so it could reach it's very finest yellow-green color. Mission accomplished! Know that the camera's flash cuts about 40 percent of the green undertone out...hahahahaaaa! He looks hilarious.

My friend Shell (aka Dr. Barker, the chiropractor) emailed me after looking at the blog and was all--that's not funny, but I looked at his pupils in the pics and he looks fine, and you know you should get an X-ray to check and see if his whatjamajiggy plate got shoved into his brain, and did he lose consciousness at all, and is there cerebrospinal fluid leaking out of his nose, and yadayadayada.

...and then I though, yeah, this whole laidback Mom thing I've been working on perfecting? Should I get that checked??

It's a great day to be alive...

So--being Colin is a GREAT thing mostofthetime. Today, however, is a different story. He's enduring the tail end of a bout with Fifth Disease (for a good time--head here http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/infections/bacterial_viral/fifth.html ) which has left him a little drained and covered in a lacy rash from head to toe. He was just starting to rally after a lowkey day yesterday when....

....he decided it would be fun to plow the driveway with Daddy without the added benefit of wearing a seatbelt. HA! At this point in the winter, you just have to gun it & kinda throw the snow over the bank.

Well-- Colin's forehead + dashboard == Klingon from Star Trek. I just know that it's gonna look worse tomorrow, and if it does... I will laugh. Err..I mean...I will post new pictures.

A house full of love

I got the kids little dry erase boards to mount on their bedroom doors, because I thought it would be cute for them to have a little spot to draw & write notes when they were up there playing. We've had them for about a week now, and I've enjoyed seeing the new masterpieces each morning. Sydney likes to draw circles and the letters S and E. Colin's board has said things like "I love you Mommy" and "Colin's room" and "Wake me up at 7".

I should have known it wouldn't take long to get to this place! Buddy--she can't read. And even if she could...do you really think that would stop her??

Polly stepped in it

Sydney is playing with her Polly Pockets, and has built an elaborate "castle" with some of her stacking pegs. I casually peeked in and told her that--hey--see those tall parts right there? Those are called turrets. "Hmmm...okay", she says.

A few minutes later, I hear her telling Polly that she should wait for the prince down by the door, because you don't want to get stuck in the turds. Followed closely by hilarious laughter.

This is the same girl who sings about whether or not one's ears hang low--like a continental "soda".

You can't make this stuff up.

Wiener poopie

Just came across my desk this morning...

Seriously, I just don't know where to start here. Is it the word wiener? The word poopie? The name Jesus in the same sentence with the aforementioned two words????

I would drop everything and go back to college RIGHT NOW to become a television news reporter if I had even the slightest HINT that I may ever get the chance to voiceover a clip such as this.

...oh that I may ever get an opportunity even half as fabulous...

"A complaint about their "leavings"???? HAHAHAHAHAHA! You're welcome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUJ4es4cYIU

I'll second that...

Eric was home early tonight, so he offered to stay with Sydney while Colin & I went on a "date" to the library to get some of his homework done. In the car on the way there:

Colin: Mommy--you know how I know that Sydney's not with us?

Me: How, buddy?

Colin: 'Cause my ears aren't hurting from all that whining.

He's got a point there.

A toss-up

Colin & I read a Bible story each night before he goes to sleep. He always asks such good questions, and it's a really neat time for "just us". We've recently started to let Sydney in on the fun, and she loves the snuggles, and often adds insight of her own. Like tonight's, for example.

We read the story of Daniel being thrown in the lions' den. Colin pointed out that he was brave, and that the angels didn't let the lions' mouths work, etc. Right before we ended with our prayer, Syd pipes up-- "it's a good thing Daniel didn't get eaten by the lions. That would've SUCKED".

So--I'm left to wonder-- when I'm standing at the pearly gates...does the fact that I TRIED to teach Sydney her Bible cancel out the fact that I also inadvertantly taught her to swear?

Proud Mama

Colin,

This isn't so much a letter to you as it is just what I would say if you were an adult right now. Or maybe what I want you to know someday when you're wondering how your heart can be so full of love for YOUR son. I won't be eloquent...it's late, and I'm all foggy in that good way you get when your right on the edge of crying with a huge smile on your face. But here goes.

We just got home from your 1st grade winter concert at school. I need you to know that I am so proud of you, buddy. For me, Colin, the things you do are never just that thing at that moment. Like tonight---all of the parents were there for a cheesy concert with their 6 year olds. I was there to see you be normal. I didn't see you file onto those risers, do the motions (almost correctly!) to the songs, and sing your heart out. I didn't.

What I saw were snapshots of the moments we've shared together on your journey. I don't see you standing on risers-- I see you wearing your special shoes and struggling to get across our living room floor with your physical therapist. I don't hear you singing-- I hear you practicing your articulation and inflection with your speech therapist. I don't see your sweet new haircut, I see myself stroking your head as you wake from an MRI. I don't see you goofing off with your neighbor...honey, I see you being an adorable 6 year old with friends. Friends who "get" you, or at least they SO do for right now!

You are earnest, you are kind, you love music, you overflow with joy. Tonight, you GLOWED. You bounce when you are forced to stand still, and tonight it was like you were going to lift off from the sheer heaven of it all. Daddy was there, your Grandad was there, Shell & the boys were there...people who just love you so much. Tomorrow night you head over to Luke's for your first big "non-family" sleepover. Then...on Saturday, you're headed off to college. Oh--that's right--that's just how it feels in Mama's heart.

You have much to teach me, Colin, and I need you to know that tonight was so much sweeter for having learned so much from you already.

Mama loves you. Sleep well, baby.

Oh--for the record--YES, the kid next to you WAS wearing a fake mustache most of the night. And they say YOU'RE "special"?

Apple, cranberry, or orange?

Sydney has this thing she does when she's in a "mood"--she argues just for the sake of arguing. Just to keep the "angry" going a little longer. Just to screw up her brow and doubt that anyone around her really knows what they're talking about. Just to be...three. It's kinda her version of most 3-year olds' WHY? game. Instead of answering every why question with another why--she answers every argument with another argument. Fun game.

So that you'll know what started this, you should know that Sydney FINALLY went cold turkey with the pacifiers on Christmas Eve. We did the whole, "Santa is gonna take these to little children who need them" routine and whathaveyou. (Like ANY kid would've taken those nasty things...the 3 remaining pacifiers were about 2 years old, and had just about that much gunk and crap in them...eww eww eww. )

You're basically up to speed. Here's the conversation on the way home from Target today.
(and when reading Syd's voice, make it really whiny & angry-like. Not yelling--more like growling...you won't even be CLOSE, but try.)

Syd: Mommy, I want my paci! I need to have my paci.

Mommy: Sydney, when we get home, I'll snuggle you up on the couch with your blanket & you can close your eyes for a minute.

Syd: When I open my eyes will my paci be back?

Mommy: (stifling a smile) No, Syd. The pacies are gone. Maybe you should learn to suck your thumb? You have TWO, ya know.

Syd: I can't suck my thumbs.....THEY HAVE GERRRRRRRRRMS. I'll DIIIIEEEEE.

Mommy: (working harder at the not laughing) Seriously, honey? Where did you hear that?

Syd: I didn't HEAR it. I LEARNED it! (getting really mad, now)

Mommy: Syd--seriously...you wash your hands plenty. So--sorry--where did you learn about germs?

Syd: At school...Ms. Greenwood taught me. Ya know, I don't even like school.

(she loooooves school...remember...arguing just to argue)

Mommy: I'm sorry to hear that, because you're going back on Wednesday.

(****long pause while she works up her next argument****)

Syd: Mommy, do we have Hannukah?

Mommy: (hardly able to contain my interest to see where this is going) Nope--we have Christmas.

Syd: Why don't we have Hannukah?

Mommy: Well, ummm...because we're not Jewish?

Syd: We're not what?

Mommy: We're not Jewish people.

Syd: WE ARE TOOOOOOO JUICE PEOPLE!
I LOVE JUICE!
I LOVE APPLE JUICE
AND CRANBERRY JUICE
AND ORANGE JUICE!!!!!!!
DON'T SAY WE'RE NOT JUICE PEOPLE!!!!

And then I laughed so hard that Sydney forgot to be mad, and laughed right along with me. And these are the moments in time you just don't ever want to forget.

Snow day!

Just a day before the kids are let out to spend ELEVEN consecutive vacation days home with me...they've called a snow day. I don't get what's up with these wuss bus drivers...c'mon...it's not the frontier, for Pete's sake.

So our office here at home is now the site of a large "secret club" fort. Because nothing says "I love my Mom" more than emptying the entire linen closet into a mess for her to clean up.

Awesome.

Let it snow...

We're in the throes of the first of TWO Nor'easter snowstorms this weekend. We've gotten 8 inches in about 5 1/2 hours so far, and it's still snowing. UGH. Eric's out of town tonight, I hate to shovel, the plow guy hasn't called back, our snowblower thing-a-majig is broken--and the only one who knows how to fix it? Yeah--out of town, remember? So--I'm in a mostly FOUL mood, and was lamenting all of the above both under my breath and aloud in the living room with the kids before bed. They were standing with their little noses to the window watching the snow fall, and I spewed out...darnit!!! I have to be out of here at 8:45 in the morning, and I don't know HOW I'm gonna get my car out of the garage and this totally stinks, and onandonandonandon. Until Colin says quietly, "Sydney--it's like God sprinkled our Christmas trees with powdered sugar". Then Sydney...having heard the words powdered sugar...yells, "LET'S HAVE FRENCH TOAST!!!". And then my heart was so full I felt as though it just might finally burst.

Merry Christmas--

The anal picker-upper

A little while ago, I sent the kids upstairs to clean Sydney's room. And by clean, I mean PLOW THROUGH and find some sort of order before even being ABLE to start to clean. Dear Sydney decided at some point today to take out every last piece of clothing, sock, underwear, hair barrette, and EVERYTHING from all 1-2-3-4-5-6 yeah SIX of her drawers and spread it all over the room. Nice.

I just stuck my head around the corner to listen upstairs & see how it was going. Colin is not only giving her a minute-by-minute pep talk (Sydney, it's almost over! Mom's gonna be so proud! You can do it!), but he's also encouraging a level of detail in her efforts that I never would have anticipated or expected. See--I'm also hearing, "okay, long sleeves in this drawer; short sleeves here; put all underwear in a pile and we'll get to those in a minute; jeans here; long pants here; white socks and pick socks separate" and so forth. I also heard him tell her to line up her books on her bookshelf better.

Autism ROCKS. I'm just sayin'.

HA!

While this is an adorable little video clip, it also quite accurately portrays what it must look like when Pooch & I are sitting on the couch watching TV at night. All is peaceful, Mom chomping on snacks, when suddenly...BWAH!!! Pooch lets out a bark that swear-to-God takes a YEAR off my life! Enjoy!

Are they their parents, or what?

A classic exchange last night that was a spot-on portrayal of their parents' relationship:

Sydney: wearing a tutu, talking incessantly, thinking she's hysterical, singing silly songs & spinning around the room. She singsongs, "Colin, aren't I funny?".

Colin: where he once was laughing & playing along, he is now just staring at her. He deadpans, "Yeah, Sydney. You're like a big joke. Except that the joke isn't funny."

(Replace above names with Jen & Eric... and welcome to my life....)

Happy THANKSGIVING!